My Apology Letter to PIU Fams

To all my PIU family:
I am truly sorry for if I have misrepresent Christ and have stumbled you. If you are judging me, i will accept it because I deserve it. If you forgive me, that would be a blessing for me. I am at the point in my life, realizing that i have hurt many people in so many ways which I was not aware of until this moment. I don't intentionally hurt people but I become wreckless in what I do.

To all the Staff and Faculty:
I am truly sorry if i have went against your ways or expectation. I know that you guys are sometimes depending on me because you have learned of what I am capable of or what I know, but i believe that some of you have stop depending on me because you already know that i am very eager and it become wreckless work which could hurt some people who are still learning how to glorify God. I have to be honest that I do have some resentment toward the authority and I'd be happy to share privately and not on this blog. I'd be blessed if I share this as soon as possible so I can get undrstanding. I believe that it is smaller issue for you but I do need someone to give me understanding. It's probably just the lack of my understanding and I probably need help. So it would be better if I get a chance to be heard and get the understanding so I may stop this resentment. If I have made you stumble in some ways or hurt you, I am truly sorry because that is not my intention. I am still a learner and I will not stop learning as you all know. I am taking counseling because I see some things that I need to improve in my life to represent Christ in the right way as he planned it in my life. So again, I am truly sorry if I have hurt you or go against what you are expecting from me and I'd be happy to be heard and get understanding on some issues which caused me to have resentment.

To all the students:
I am truly sorry for being a bad big brother. If i have misled you, please forgive me. I am doing my best to be a person that Christ want me to be, and sometimes I fail at the very point that you really need my help. I am also very prideful person that sometimes some of you tries to encourage me and I just ignore because of my stubbornness and selfishness and I am so sorry for that. Some of you are now scared to approach me because of just the way i talk. Some of you have given up on just fellowship with me because of my big mouth, talking too much. I am truly sorry that I made things hard for you to fellowship with me. I realize things because I evaluate myself every single day and my prayer is to glorify God in whatever I do, whatever I say, or whatever I think of and I believe that I have scared away some of you because I go beyond what I'm suppose to say or do. That means I misrepresnt God. If I represent Him well, I believe that you are to be encouraged and not be scared and run away or be discouraged.

To All:
This is my request. Many of you put a lot of expectation on me which burdens me. One good example is that some of you think that I am very smart based on my 4.o GPA on my first three semester. But I think we have to realize that cycle in life have ups and downs, which I was hoping that someone would approach me and ask what happened or what's wrong with me because from 4.O to 3.5 to 2.8 should tell something. But since I nothing happened or no one have done that, i'm gonna volunteer to step out of Chapel Worship Team based on my academic status, unless I really need to play. This is for the protection of my grades and studies so I can get back on track. Also, many expect me to help and encourage but fail to realize that sometimes I need help and encouragements. I want to wrap this by saying that I love you all PIU Fams and I don't mean to hurt you in any ways because God did not create me to do that. I want to ask you to forgive me and please look at me the way I am right know and don't try to match me to the past because I'm very different from that. Whether I'm different toward good or different toward bad. I have vertical love and I need horizontal love because i'm very lonely at this point in my life. If you are showing that to me, I need to be taught how to recognize them and accept them. Please consider these words of mine because I am a person who needs help and love.