For this school semester, i have been disconnecting myself from a lot of responsibilities and leadership on PIU and other areas. The reason why is that i was so burnt out last semester by a lot of good works that the school had set before me to accomplish. I, with a very good team of mine from STUCO helped each other to accomplishing these responsibilities. But even more, I had some other ministries that i was involved with. At the same time, I had some personal issues that i was dealing in my life. Through these things and some other things that i did not mention, I was so burned out. But I did not have a chance to rest during the summer because of the ministry to the States. So that means, since I'm human that need rest, I decided not to get involved with a lot of things this semester. I wanted to relax my mind while i was recovering on those hardship that i went through last semester. With a blessing from God, the pre-registration that i did last semester for this semester made my classes so flexible in terms of my studying. Though I am taking six classes, I'm still able to have good amount of rest that can treat me like I'm in vacation.
But though I am away from those things/responsibilities, it doesn't mean that I have easy life on campus. I still have work to do as in assignments/homeworks. This is the only thing that occupies my time. I enjoy studying and enjoy my classes this semester because they are well spread or well scheduled so i can do my assignments and ministries with not a lot of hard thinkings.
Through some everyday challenges, and try to keep myself away from responsibilities, i guess i exagerated my actions in terms of away from task and responsibilities. I think i was more like run away of even worse, procrastinating. But there is even more harder challenge. I made a covenant to myself that I will control my itch (talking a lot in terms of testimonies or encouragement) and try to just be cool and not say much. through this covenant that i made, it was hard and frustrating because i was doing something that a lot of people say "out of my league" by not talking a lot. With the covenant and the keeping myself away from responsibilities, I became so lonely and I kept forcing myself to do it in order just to hurt me so i wont feel those other pain that i felt last semesters. Instead of lifting them up to God, i try to hide them by covering them up with blessings at the moments. In other words, instead of talking about them, I try to think or seek happiness and think about those happiness more often so i wont have time to think about the hurts or pain that i am holding or carrying. with this, i pretty much did not excape from the pain, but i just blindfold myself with the blessings and not trying to understand those pain and get over them and move on. Sadly to say this, but it got worse because I became so lonely because i disconnect myself from people when i have not solved and get understanding with these pain that im having from the past semester. With this situation, i became more frustrated and irritated. Lonely, frustrated, angry, confused, hurt, and others. What even made it worse was that i receive some bad news from one of my sibling and i felt so disappointed and discouraged, and it seems that things were so unfair to me. The tears started running down my face because i was so hurt and the tears where the tears of pain and anger. With my situation like this, i risked my time to stay awake until 2am on Sep 27th, just to talk and pour out these things to one of my very close family on this campus. Through the sharing, i gained more understanding of the situations that i was in and gained a knowledge of how to approach these challenges and pains that im holding. Even before this, i had a chance to talk to one of the sister that is always faithful to pray for me and she gave me some advices. And talking with this sister, she gave me one advice that i took it into action... REST IN THE LORD.... and then i talked to that brother at 2am in the morning, the advice were just side by side and it gave me understanding. The very next day, that's where the blessings started to reveal.
September 28th, this was the first day of our class on SCUBA DIVING. We went to buy our diving gears and Eric Sorenson was driving us. On our way back, I was talking about my vision or i would say ambition for Thailand as always. But out of nowhere, Eric said this, "YOU SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT GOING TO DO MINISTRY IN PAPUA NEW GUINEA. THEY ARE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE QUALIFIED SCUBA DIVERS." With these information that he said, i did not really consider it or think about it with confidence. i want to go there because i can say that i am from there also since my great grandfather is from there. But i did not really think about it as mission field because my mind is still focusing in Thailand.
September 29th, I finished my class and went to Steve Stinette's office and had a good amount of time talking with him, seeking for some advice. Not only seeking for advice, but i was also sharing what i wanted to do after i finish.... as always, THAILAND..... But with the sharing, i found out one thing that we both share the same vision but our focus on the field of ministry was different. I did not really get the sense that there is something that gonna happen in this particular room that will change me totally. When i found out that we share the same vision but different field, i was thinking in this way, "OH, THAT'S GOOD SO NOW WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER AND MAKE THE WORK MORE BETTER AND EASIER." Stubborn i am and blind i am because i still focus on my ambition. While we were still talking, and him knowing that i have enrolled on scuba diving class, he got up and took a map with routes of plain in it. before he got up, we were talking about that micronesia is the best place to send missionaries because communist people and other big places does not know much about micronesia. When he got up to take the map or book with map in it that has flight route in it, i thought he was gonna connect it with the one that we were just talking about. He pointed to Papua and Papua New Guinee and said that there are a lot of needs over there. so i said in my mind, "THAT'S COOL. NOW WHEN I GO TO THAILAND AND TRAIN SOME OF FUTURE MISSIONARIES FROM MICRONESIA, THEY WILL TAKE THIS FIELD THAT STEVE IS TALKING ABOUT". HOw blind i am and how stubborn i am so my mind is still in my ambition of Thailand. The next thing he said is, "THIS PARTICULAR PLACE NEED PEOPLE WHO CAN DO SCUBA DIVING." Three seconds after he said scuba diving, i was a mess. my tears start running down my face and i felt something that i've never felt before. it was something joyful and very convicting feeling. I knew where this was leading me to. Steve start giggling at me because i could not stop crying. He kept talking and we prayed. Now for that, i started connecting everything. With me and Steve sharing the same vision, and Eric mentioning to me that i should go to PNG for mission, and with the information about palauans trying to make a full support of one missionary in the future, I started to realized more and more things. It was not just Eric talking to me about going to PNG for diving, but it was God who used him. It was not just by mistake that I went to Steve's office, but it was on the right timing. It was not the calling for me to go to Thailand, YET, but it was just an ambition. not yet a calling.
After that, I walked out of the door and only thing that came out of my mouth is the word of praises and thanksgiving. I was speechless. I went to my room and prayed. There was nothing i could say to make myself feel good in expression of my feeling to God but just to say HALELUJIA. I feel like Abraham right now because i know there is a field out there waiting for me but i dont even know where. I know that it's unfamiliar place and i know that God is right by my side preparing me.
This thing that happened to me is that i know that it's not ambition, because i have never been to that side of the world, and at the same time im not in a rush or eagerness to go there. it is something that just fit well in me. for that whole day, I was overwhelmed with blessings. I think what im trying to say is that God has prepared a field for me to minister after I graduate, and i'm just waiting for its time to come. Even makes it more better, one of the thing that happened to make my week sooooooo blessing is the prayer time and fasting time. I was talking to one of the leader about something like this and now it's happening. I praise the Lord that He really answers our prayers on HIS timing. Praise HIM, Praise the Lord.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Blessings
What is a definition of blessings to you?
For me, blessing is a result. Things that happens to me in this present time, whether it is smooth or painful, but if i know that the result of it or i assume that the result of it or even if i dont know the outcome of it, i should rejoice. Because i know that in the end, the result comes out good. I will give an example:
If I fail to inform my roommate that it is already time for he class, i may face the consequence but i still have to praise the Lord because i did not only make a mistake but i agained a knowledge of it, and that's a blessing. Now let's go even more further. If i failed again and again, it dont mean that i am a failure or the result will end with bad result. I still need to praise the Lord for the fact that my roommate is already smarter than earlier that he cannot depend on me. At the same time, it is a blessing for me because i already know that i am weak on this part so in order to improve it, i change my strategy of how to inform him that the class is starting. Either i get an alarm clock or i find a way that i will not fail. so it was a gaining of understanding on both sides.
Blessings
School has a lot of rules nowadays and some of them are pretty much against my interest. But is that mean that i need to go around and say that this is not good and we must go against it? ...NO... It may be not good for me but it is good for others. So how will i be a blessing to this situation. Let's bring it to the term STRIKE in the Dorm. If something is messy in the dorm, i know it's not me that did it. But that does not mean that I am not responsible for this STRIKE. I am pretty much also responsible for it. I should not be complaining that "THE STRIKE SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY AFFECT ON ME" because i myself is also guilty by not stewarding my brother's mess. And if i have an attitude by saying "I DO WHAT I DO AND HE DO WHAT HE DO", I dont think this is the right place for me. So again, what should i do to be a blessing of this STRIKE thing? In order to be a blessing is that i must learn how to have selfless virtue in me before i think about anything else. If i do not have this in me, i would be one of a stubborn and selfish person in this face of the earth. ACTION TAKING is to minister to my brothers by cleaning their mess up and teach them how to live in a clean environment by showing it in my action. I have to be their leaders. Not by words, but by actions. I have to lead them and let them learn from my actions. Word can be said but it's very less effective. but if my brother see me doing it, he will for sure be motivated to do it. This is when i know that i have won his heart because he is already comfortable with my fellowhip of cleanliness. I should think about others more than myself. Am i doing that? In me i say yes. but for others, i would say i dont know because i know that i have blindspots that others can see that i dont see.
Blessing:
A lot of time, when we think that we have a lot to do, it is not true. We jus think that we have a lot to do because we wait and procrastinate until the time is very close and then we start thinking hard. But before, we were relaxing our mind like we were in Chillax Land. I say this because many times i caught myself in this situation. I thought that i was really busy but i was not. it was just works that could have been done simply if i spread them in the week, but i was procrastinating and ended up doing them in one day. So my work for 1 hour a day ended up work a 6hour works. I say six hour because 3 actual hour for the works but the other three is just frustration inbetween. With this result, we can end up with lack of sleep, having headache, possible missing or be late to class, bad mood because not enough rest, and last, we cannot think straight and we get so annoyed by a little things. There is a term, pre-job planning. This mean, we plan our job ahead of time. This only work if we stick on to it. This dont mean that we do things on the actual time we put on our calendar or planner, but this is a guide for us to succeed. How we do it? Let's say that we have three task that needed to be done in a week. the first one we put it on Monday, the second one we put or schedule it on Wednesday and the last one we schedule it on Friday. The pre-job planning is to make sure that these will get done and easily. So now what we need to plan is that we just need to see what time of the day we will do them. Failing to use the pre-job planning, the first task ended up not be done on Monday. Now this already bring pressure to you because you now have to work two consecutive days for these tasks on Tuesday and Wednesday, if you actually do them. IF you fail again, you can end up stressing out trying to figure what to do first because they all piling up to one another. Pre-job planning is a tool that will help us minimize our frustration at work and at the same time, help us not to fail our accomplishment or our works.
What is this has to do with blessings? Very simple. Failing to meet the goal for Monday is now a burden for the next day when you were actually had free time on the next day. For this, it is now taking away the free time that you were suppose to spend with other brothers or sisters for hiking or other good stuff. now you have to stay back and finish this job that was suppose to be done on Monday and missing fun on hikings. Let's keep it real and try not to procrastinate or be lazy but finish the things at the time that we need to finish.
KEEP UP THE STRENGTH AND MOTIVATE OTHERS TO DO GOOD.
For me, blessing is a result. Things that happens to me in this present time, whether it is smooth or painful, but if i know that the result of it or i assume that the result of it or even if i dont know the outcome of it, i should rejoice. Because i know that in the end, the result comes out good. I will give an example:
If I fail to inform my roommate that it is already time for he class, i may face the consequence but i still have to praise the Lord because i did not only make a mistake but i agained a knowledge of it, and that's a blessing. Now let's go even more further. If i failed again and again, it dont mean that i am a failure or the result will end with bad result. I still need to praise the Lord for the fact that my roommate is already smarter than earlier that he cannot depend on me. At the same time, it is a blessing for me because i already know that i am weak on this part so in order to improve it, i change my strategy of how to inform him that the class is starting. Either i get an alarm clock or i find a way that i will not fail. so it was a gaining of understanding on both sides.
Blessings
School has a lot of rules nowadays and some of them are pretty much against my interest. But is that mean that i need to go around and say that this is not good and we must go against it? ...NO... It may be not good for me but it is good for others. So how will i be a blessing to this situation. Let's bring it to the term STRIKE in the Dorm. If something is messy in the dorm, i know it's not me that did it. But that does not mean that I am not responsible for this STRIKE. I am pretty much also responsible for it. I should not be complaining that "THE STRIKE SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY AFFECT ON ME" because i myself is also guilty by not stewarding my brother's mess. And if i have an attitude by saying "I DO WHAT I DO AND HE DO WHAT HE DO", I dont think this is the right place for me. So again, what should i do to be a blessing of this STRIKE thing? In order to be a blessing is that i must learn how to have selfless virtue in me before i think about anything else. If i do not have this in me, i would be one of a stubborn and selfish person in this face of the earth. ACTION TAKING is to minister to my brothers by cleaning their mess up and teach them how to live in a clean environment by showing it in my action. I have to be their leaders. Not by words, but by actions. I have to lead them and let them learn from my actions. Word can be said but it's very less effective. but if my brother see me doing it, he will for sure be motivated to do it. This is when i know that i have won his heart because he is already comfortable with my fellowhip of cleanliness. I should think about others more than myself. Am i doing that? In me i say yes. but for others, i would say i dont know because i know that i have blindspots that others can see that i dont see.
Blessing:
A lot of time, when we think that we have a lot to do, it is not true. We jus think that we have a lot to do because we wait and procrastinate until the time is very close and then we start thinking hard. But before, we were relaxing our mind like we were in Chillax Land. I say this because many times i caught myself in this situation. I thought that i was really busy but i was not. it was just works that could have been done simply if i spread them in the week, but i was procrastinating and ended up doing them in one day. So my work for 1 hour a day ended up work a 6hour works. I say six hour because 3 actual hour for the works but the other three is just frustration inbetween. With this result, we can end up with lack of sleep, having headache, possible missing or be late to class, bad mood because not enough rest, and last, we cannot think straight and we get so annoyed by a little things. There is a term, pre-job planning. This mean, we plan our job ahead of time. This only work if we stick on to it. This dont mean that we do things on the actual time we put on our calendar or planner, but this is a guide for us to succeed. How we do it? Let's say that we have three task that needed to be done in a week. the first one we put it on Monday, the second one we put or schedule it on Wednesday and the last one we schedule it on Friday. The pre-job planning is to make sure that these will get done and easily. So now what we need to plan is that we just need to see what time of the day we will do them. Failing to use the pre-job planning, the first task ended up not be done on Monday. Now this already bring pressure to you because you now have to work two consecutive days for these tasks on Tuesday and Wednesday, if you actually do them. IF you fail again, you can end up stressing out trying to figure what to do first because they all piling up to one another. Pre-job planning is a tool that will help us minimize our frustration at work and at the same time, help us not to fail our accomplishment or our works.
What is this has to do with blessings? Very simple. Failing to meet the goal for Monday is now a burden for the next day when you were actually had free time on the next day. For this, it is now taking away the free time that you were suppose to spend with other brothers or sisters for hiking or other good stuff. now you have to stay back and finish this job that was suppose to be done on Monday and missing fun on hikings. Let's keep it real and try not to procrastinate or be lazy but finish the things at the time that we need to finish.
KEEP UP THE STRENGTH AND MOTIVATE OTHERS TO DO GOOD.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Blessings in God's Provision
Before our ministry to the States this last summer, I was debating if i want to buy my ticket to fly to Palau after ministry. But i did not get it until the summer was over. Here is the reason why i did not get it until the end of the summer. even before the ministry, God already have plans for me to stay on campus after our ministry.
Toward the end of our ministry I asked the president of the school if i could stay back on campus when we return and work with the guys. He agreed and so when I came, i worked not under contract but was working as volunteer (which means that i dont get paid and i have to pay for my own food with my own money). Knowing that, I saved enough money from the mission trip so that i could buy my food when i stay on campus. I just had enough. I praise the Lord that He is always faithful and know how to prepare everything for me.
Before I continue about this story, i want to tell you little bit about myself. When it comes to money, i am really bad at it. I cannot manage, and i am pretty much a big spender. But through this past ministry, knowing that our trailer was fully packed and i knew that it was challenging to arrange or find the things inside, i did not want to buy more stuff to fill the trailer and make it more messy and difficult to deal with. So with that thinking, i was able to manage my money and was thinking to spend them in the last place before we leave the states. it was thought about it and i took it into action at the last day of our ministry. I had enough money to shop and buys some gifts for students that were staying back. Not only that, there were also enough money to cover my needs on campus when i served the Lord on campus after our ministry.
When i came to campus, i was astoned with the poles that were surrounding the Cannex dorm. i thought there was a plan of building a fence around it or something. But after two or three days of resting, I found out that there will be overhanging roof outside the Cannex. So during the very next week, I pretty much overcame my Jet Lag so i was able to work with the guys. We started with short devotion in the morning before we start working. I like those devotions because it kept us not forgeting the purpose of our work on campus, that it was not nessessarily how fast, but how the job was done well and how we minister to one another through the felloship of work. There were four gentlemen and five ladies who were the main worker crews, but mostly i worked with the guys.
The first work that i faced was cutting the grasses. I kind of did not have contentment on it but toward the end of the day, i started to like it. i did not like it because this one bush cutter kept dying on me. I brought it to the shop, tried to overhaul it, but i could not pinpoint the problem. So the next day, i changed my bush cutter and used the smaller one and i had more contentment on it. It was small, lighter, but did a great job.
For few days working on campus with the crew, then there was a big project that came about. (While i was working here, I was still questioning in my mind, "Why am I here and not in Susanville or back in Palau ministrying to my mom?") Tim Plaxton, who was managing the work on campus, told us that we are gonna start building the overhang on Cannex. With Tim knowing that i have just little skill of carpentry, he included me on the job of building the overhang. Still, my mind is questioning why I'm here on campus. When the work started, I did not know how this things gonna look like. I have not build any house or shelter on my own or put any idea on building things, but was just a helper. But on this particular job, I was able to exercise my skill and wisdom (mostly imagination and assumtions) in building this overhang. What became challenge is that it was my first time doing it, and Tim never build a house or roofing a house with these kinds of tin roofs. At the same time, one person who was working with us, though he is skilled in some works, but i knew that i had to take charge on this because I have not seen him doing this kind of work and i believed that he did not have much skills on this. I believed that we have almost the same amount of skills. But with another student that i really trust, I knew that he have some skills in building because i can see in his performance of any work on campus. Though I have not seen him building anything, but i believed that he have experience that I need to combine with mine and other guy to make this job complete.
I am a person who like to have prejob planning before i do any kinds of works, especially when it comes to building projects so i can actually see how it gonna look like and how much materials we gonna need to complete the job. But with flexibility and just let things go as it is, we started building it. Starting with the frame, it was tough because. I did not even know what will be on this frame, how the crossmember or the rafters going to be attached to these frames; did not know how the roofs gonna be attached to the wall of Cannex. but with patience, I was just observing and follow what Tim told us to do. There were times that I really wanted to put ideas, but i did not want because i did not see the picture of this project because there was no drawings or blueprints. Listening and following what Tim told us to do, the frame that is attached to the wall was complete and the frame that was hanging on the poles were finished. after those two finished, you know that i already start having imagination on how this project gonna look like.
Those hanging up the frames took us two days because we were kind of catching the idea of how this project gonna look like. After those hanging of the frames, we started with the rafters. It was challenging because now everyone already start thinking and our minds are now preparing what needs to be done next. This is what you call preparation on progress. So with everyone thinking, there were some tensions that happened because of the conflict of skills. And let me show you two things that caused the conflictions.
We have one guy who want to find the best way or fastest way for the job to complete. And there is another guy who is good in math, (especially geometry). The one with good math already know how the job should be done from step one to the ending of just rafting. But other person, he is smart, but he just want the work to finish fast. With the person who want to finish the work fast, he pretty much dont hear or communicate well with the other person. This caused tension and the second person just gave up so he stepped out of the work area to gain his composure. After few minutes then he came back and they both ask forgiveness and continued the works.
Why am i telling this? The reason why I am telling this is because i want to tell that every ministry, there is always a challenge that you face. but that is just a short term situation. And to think about it, the reason for your mission is much bigger than the challenge that you face at that particular moment.
After hanging the frames and overcoming that little challenge, the work went so smooth. We actually put the whole overhanging within a week. But that is not something that is just the tip of the iceberg that i want to tell. The main thing that i want to tell about this is of how God revealed something to me while working on this small project.
Before i started this, I said it before but i will say it again. I did not know why i was coming to campus. it was not taking a risk but i did not know exactly why i came to this campus. but with this working on the overhanging, i learned something that God was teaching me and was showing me. As you know that i have been talking about my ambition to Thailand... I started slacking about my prayer toward Thailand. But there was something that caught my attention with this summer work. When we almost completed the overhang for the Cannex, i found out that i could build the house. It really caught my attention because one of the thing in my mind was "how will i build the mission house in Thailand with no skills; how will i pay for the contractors to build the house if i live by supports." These worries came to my mind and i started to slack on my prayers. Even through this work, i found out that big part of our classrooms were build by a second hand materials. I found out that they built it with materials that were donated by other people, which means that these materials were used for another house before and they actually reused them to build our classrooms. It is such a blessing to hear that because our classroom is strong and there is no leak in it. The nails that they used to hold the lumber and plywoods in some part of our classrooms were actually straightened by one member of our school who was a student during that time. He actually brought these used nails and hammered them until they were straightened and then use them to guild the house.
How amazing is that? how blessing is that? using second hand materials to build the classrooms and now we are using it and no complaint about the leaking or worries that it will fall on us... This caught my attention. It gave me an idea of how to build the mission house in Thailand. That's the reason why i came to work over here on campus after our mission trip. TO LEARN THAT I CAN ACTUALLY BUILD THE HOUSE, AND ALL I NEED IS TO COLLECT THE SECOND HAND MATERIALS TO BUILD THE HOUSE. LESS EXPENSIVE AND THERE IS A SOLID EVIDENCE THAT I CAN USE SECOND HAND MATERIALS AND IT'S STILL SAFE. I not only found out about that one, but i found out about this one brother of mine that when i am ready to build the house over there, i would be willing to bring him to Thailand with me to build that mission house because he is gifted in building houses. So now i know some of my skills and also a person that will be helping me to build the house. Oh, and don't worry. we already talk about it so, YES, he knows about it. This is how God is providing. This is how God is working in our lives.
Okay, just one more example of how God provide. toward the starting of the school, i did not have enough money to buy my books. I looked at the prices and it would cost more than what i have. the day of paying for my books came and i did not know what to do. I had only $30.00 in my wallet and $7.00 on my bank. even before I put those $30.00 for the books, i receive the envelope that was a love gift from Palau Evangelical Church in Guam that contained some money that was enough to knock out two of the books. I was so blessed for that, but i still had some books that i needed to pay. Though i knew i still had some more books to pay for, I was not thinking about that one but was celeberating the fact that i got those money to knock out those two books. I was celeberating the moment and not thinking about what's to come because I did not want to ruin the joy that God is giving me that comes with happiness. It would be sad thing if I receive a blessing and yet i dont have happiness when God already give me a part of what i've prayed for. after few days, then it came a time that i really needed to find the money or the way to get the rest of those books that i needed. I came to one brother and talked about some of the things that i wanted to make them straight, but with this conversation, he actually found out that i need help to buy my books. so I received enough money to cover the rest of the books and the art materials that i needed for the courses this semester. How much blessing would you want to ask from God? God dont give us blessings when we expect them to happen. NO. He gives us when we need them. I praise Him because He is JEHOVAH JIRAH. I praise Him because He is faithful God. I praise Him because He draws me close to Him every single day of my life. I am satisfied with the life that I'm in right now and i want to grow more and more everyday toward Him. Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord.
NOW I KNOW THE REASON WHY I DID NOT STAY BACK IN SUSANVILLE OR WENT BACK TO PALAU.
Toward the end of our ministry I asked the president of the school if i could stay back on campus when we return and work with the guys. He agreed and so when I came, i worked not under contract but was working as volunteer (which means that i dont get paid and i have to pay for my own food with my own money). Knowing that, I saved enough money from the mission trip so that i could buy my food when i stay on campus. I just had enough. I praise the Lord that He is always faithful and know how to prepare everything for me.
Before I continue about this story, i want to tell you little bit about myself. When it comes to money, i am really bad at it. I cannot manage, and i am pretty much a big spender. But through this past ministry, knowing that our trailer was fully packed and i knew that it was challenging to arrange or find the things inside, i did not want to buy more stuff to fill the trailer and make it more messy and difficult to deal with. So with that thinking, i was able to manage my money and was thinking to spend them in the last place before we leave the states. it was thought about it and i took it into action at the last day of our ministry. I had enough money to shop and buys some gifts for students that were staying back. Not only that, there were also enough money to cover my needs on campus when i served the Lord on campus after our ministry.
When i came to campus, i was astoned with the poles that were surrounding the Cannex dorm. i thought there was a plan of building a fence around it or something. But after two or three days of resting, I found out that there will be overhanging roof outside the Cannex. So during the very next week, I pretty much overcame my Jet Lag so i was able to work with the guys. We started with short devotion in the morning before we start working. I like those devotions because it kept us not forgeting the purpose of our work on campus, that it was not nessessarily how fast, but how the job was done well and how we minister to one another through the felloship of work. There were four gentlemen and five ladies who were the main worker crews, but mostly i worked with the guys.
The first work that i faced was cutting the grasses. I kind of did not have contentment on it but toward the end of the day, i started to like it. i did not like it because this one bush cutter kept dying on me. I brought it to the shop, tried to overhaul it, but i could not pinpoint the problem. So the next day, i changed my bush cutter and used the smaller one and i had more contentment on it. It was small, lighter, but did a great job.
For few days working on campus with the crew, then there was a big project that came about. (While i was working here, I was still questioning in my mind, "Why am I here and not in Susanville or back in Palau ministrying to my mom?") Tim Plaxton, who was managing the work on campus, told us that we are gonna start building the overhang on Cannex. With Tim knowing that i have just little skill of carpentry, he included me on the job of building the overhang. Still, my mind is questioning why I'm here on campus. When the work started, I did not know how this things gonna look like. I have not build any house or shelter on my own or put any idea on building things, but was just a helper. But on this particular job, I was able to exercise my skill and wisdom (mostly imagination and assumtions) in building this overhang. What became challenge is that it was my first time doing it, and Tim never build a house or roofing a house with these kinds of tin roofs. At the same time, one person who was working with us, though he is skilled in some works, but i knew that i had to take charge on this because I have not seen him doing this kind of work and i believed that he did not have much skills on this. I believed that we have almost the same amount of skills. But with another student that i really trust, I knew that he have some skills in building because i can see in his performance of any work on campus. Though I have not seen him building anything, but i believed that he have experience that I need to combine with mine and other guy to make this job complete.
I am a person who like to have prejob planning before i do any kinds of works, especially when it comes to building projects so i can actually see how it gonna look like and how much materials we gonna need to complete the job. But with flexibility and just let things go as it is, we started building it. Starting with the frame, it was tough because. I did not even know what will be on this frame, how the crossmember or the rafters going to be attached to these frames; did not know how the roofs gonna be attached to the wall of Cannex. but with patience, I was just observing and follow what Tim told us to do. There were times that I really wanted to put ideas, but i did not want because i did not see the picture of this project because there was no drawings or blueprints. Listening and following what Tim told us to do, the frame that is attached to the wall was complete and the frame that was hanging on the poles were finished. after those two finished, you know that i already start having imagination on how this project gonna look like.
Those hanging up the frames took us two days because we were kind of catching the idea of how this project gonna look like. After those hanging of the frames, we started with the rafters. It was challenging because now everyone already start thinking and our minds are now preparing what needs to be done next. This is what you call preparation on progress. So with everyone thinking, there were some tensions that happened because of the conflict of skills. And let me show you two things that caused the conflictions.
We have one guy who want to find the best way or fastest way for the job to complete. And there is another guy who is good in math, (especially geometry). The one with good math already know how the job should be done from step one to the ending of just rafting. But other person, he is smart, but he just want the work to finish fast. With the person who want to finish the work fast, he pretty much dont hear or communicate well with the other person. This caused tension and the second person just gave up so he stepped out of the work area to gain his composure. After few minutes then he came back and they both ask forgiveness and continued the works.
Why am i telling this? The reason why I am telling this is because i want to tell that every ministry, there is always a challenge that you face. but that is just a short term situation. And to think about it, the reason for your mission is much bigger than the challenge that you face at that particular moment.
After hanging the frames and overcoming that little challenge, the work went so smooth. We actually put the whole overhanging within a week. But that is not something that is just the tip of the iceberg that i want to tell. The main thing that i want to tell about this is of how God revealed something to me while working on this small project.
Before i started this, I said it before but i will say it again. I did not know why i was coming to campus. it was not taking a risk but i did not know exactly why i came to this campus. but with this working on the overhanging, i learned something that God was teaching me and was showing me. As you know that i have been talking about my ambition to Thailand... I started slacking about my prayer toward Thailand. But there was something that caught my attention with this summer work. When we almost completed the overhang for the Cannex, i found out that i could build the house. It really caught my attention because one of the thing in my mind was "how will i build the mission house in Thailand with no skills; how will i pay for the contractors to build the house if i live by supports." These worries came to my mind and i started to slack on my prayers. Even through this work, i found out that big part of our classrooms were build by a second hand materials. I found out that they built it with materials that were donated by other people, which means that these materials were used for another house before and they actually reused them to build our classrooms. It is such a blessing to hear that because our classroom is strong and there is no leak in it. The nails that they used to hold the lumber and plywoods in some part of our classrooms were actually straightened by one member of our school who was a student during that time. He actually brought these used nails and hammered them until they were straightened and then use them to guild the house.
How amazing is that? how blessing is that? using second hand materials to build the classrooms and now we are using it and no complaint about the leaking or worries that it will fall on us... This caught my attention. It gave me an idea of how to build the mission house in Thailand. That's the reason why i came to work over here on campus after our mission trip. TO LEARN THAT I CAN ACTUALLY BUILD THE HOUSE, AND ALL I NEED IS TO COLLECT THE SECOND HAND MATERIALS TO BUILD THE HOUSE. LESS EXPENSIVE AND THERE IS A SOLID EVIDENCE THAT I CAN USE SECOND HAND MATERIALS AND IT'S STILL SAFE. I not only found out about that one, but i found out about this one brother of mine that when i am ready to build the house over there, i would be willing to bring him to Thailand with me to build that mission house because he is gifted in building houses. So now i know some of my skills and also a person that will be helping me to build the house. Oh, and don't worry. we already talk about it so, YES, he knows about it. This is how God is providing. This is how God is working in our lives.
Okay, just one more example of how God provide. toward the starting of the school, i did not have enough money to buy my books. I looked at the prices and it would cost more than what i have. the day of paying for my books came and i did not know what to do. I had only $30.00 in my wallet and $7.00 on my bank. even before I put those $30.00 for the books, i receive the envelope that was a love gift from Palau Evangelical Church in Guam that contained some money that was enough to knock out two of the books. I was so blessed for that, but i still had some books that i needed to pay. Though i knew i still had some more books to pay for, I was not thinking about that one but was celeberating the fact that i got those money to knock out those two books. I was celeberating the moment and not thinking about what's to come because I did not want to ruin the joy that God is giving me that comes with happiness. It would be sad thing if I receive a blessing and yet i dont have happiness when God already give me a part of what i've prayed for. after few days, then it came a time that i really needed to find the money or the way to get the rest of those books that i needed. I came to one brother and talked about some of the things that i wanted to make them straight, but with this conversation, he actually found out that i need help to buy my books. so I received enough money to cover the rest of the books and the art materials that i needed for the courses this semester. How much blessing would you want to ask from God? God dont give us blessings when we expect them to happen. NO. He gives us when we need them. I praise Him because He is JEHOVAH JIRAH. I praise Him because He is faithful God. I praise Him because He draws me close to Him every single day of my life. I am satisfied with the life that I'm in right now and i want to grow more and more everyday toward Him. Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord.
NOW I KNOW THE REASON WHY I DID NOT STAY BACK IN SUSANVILLE OR WENT BACK TO PALAU.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Submission to God's Will
I'm just gonna write some part of my testimony and also give some of the implications that you might can use them and apply them to your situation.
My mom and dad used to drink a lot back in their times. even my grandfather and great grandfather from my father's side. this mean that i have it in me that i can easily grab a glass of whisky and or a bottle of beer and drink it and then it goes from one to two, from two to three and on. since i have explore myself that i am weak on drinking, even until today my mouth will be watery when i see them. so what i do is that i stay away from the place that they serve alcohol like clubs and bars. even when my friends are drinking, i try to stay away from them as much as i can. That is one technique that i use to get myself away from drinking again.
Let me explain one thing that might help you a little bit. Addictions can be cured. it sometimes takes bloodshed or almost a loss of life, but it can be cured. my uncle was alcoholic and he just recently quit it because he had pneumonia and it almost killed him. he had only 20% to live as the doctor said. but because of his sickness, he was in the hospital for over two weeks and that cleansed him from drinking. he is clean now, still. I am saying this because it can be applicable to any addictions. i know that you are not alcoholic so i was just using that as an example. but when you have something that you are struggling with, here is one thing that you use it to challenge yourself. if you start quiting and you reach 2 days, on the third day, you can say "I did not drink or smoke for two days, that mean i can do it one more day". the third day finish and on the fourth day, you say, "I did not drink or smoke for 3 days, that means i can do it one more day". keep doing that and sooner or later, you find out that 3 weeks have elopse, 5 weeks, 2 months, one year. by this time, it is already easy. But here is a thing. Don't think that one year has passed so you can go put your guards down. because sometime you say that it is easy, but when you get closer to them, the temptation is stronger than you think. As you know, we cannot do things on our own. so to make this more easy, always seek guidance from God.
Here are three terms that you can use to escape the temptations of addictions. First, you have to DISCIPLINE yourself. If you keep thinking about them, try to occupy yourself with other things so you wont think about them. Train your mind not to think about them. it will be hard but when you continue doing it, the next term kicks in, which is PERSEVERANCE. at this point, your body want to do something crazy to get that thing so bad. But if you continue and persevere that stage which is very hard, it will be much more easy afterward. After those, you can be witnessing to other people with what God had done to your life. when you share to others, it will challenge you in this way. WHEN YOU TELL OTHERS, IT MAKES YOU DONT WANT TO GET BACK TO IT BECAUSE IT WOULD BE BAD EXAMPLE IF WE TELL OTHERS OF HOW GOD HELPED US, AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN, THEY SEE US DOING IT, AGAIN. I've used this to help me and its working. I say things that i am weak at it out loud so I can remind myself that I should not go back to it because i just said it.
Dont be discourage if you fail. there's room for failure. when you make mistake, you can learn from it and see what you can do to improve from it. You stumble and shake it off and say, "Lord, help me I need you." You stumble again and then you shake it again and say, "Lord, help me because I cannot do this on my own." Keep doing that day by day, moment by moment, situation by situation and you will be able to be submissive to God's Will. Always allow Him to work in you and through you. You cannot change yourself and I cannot change myself. It is God who make changes, that's why we need to allow Him to work and make changes. If you fail or stumble but get up and shake the dust and continue, that is what we call submission to God's Will. but if you fall down and decided not want to get up, then it's not submission to God. Take one thing at a time, little by little and allow Him to break you and mold you to the way that is good for you but also what He wants.
My mom and dad used to drink a lot back in their times. even my grandfather and great grandfather from my father's side. this mean that i have it in me that i can easily grab a glass of whisky and or a bottle of beer and drink it and then it goes from one to two, from two to three and on. since i have explore myself that i am weak on drinking, even until today my mouth will be watery when i see them. so what i do is that i stay away from the place that they serve alcohol like clubs and bars. even when my friends are drinking, i try to stay away from them as much as i can. That is one technique that i use to get myself away from drinking again.
Let me explain one thing that might help you a little bit. Addictions can be cured. it sometimes takes bloodshed or almost a loss of life, but it can be cured. my uncle was alcoholic and he just recently quit it because he had pneumonia and it almost killed him. he had only 20% to live as the doctor said. but because of his sickness, he was in the hospital for over two weeks and that cleansed him from drinking. he is clean now, still. I am saying this because it can be applicable to any addictions. i know that you are not alcoholic so i was just using that as an example. but when you have something that you are struggling with, here is one thing that you use it to challenge yourself. if you start quiting and you reach 2 days, on the third day, you can say "I did not drink or smoke for two days, that mean i can do it one more day". the third day finish and on the fourth day, you say, "I did not drink or smoke for 3 days, that means i can do it one more day". keep doing that and sooner or later, you find out that 3 weeks have elopse, 5 weeks, 2 months, one year. by this time, it is already easy. But here is a thing. Don't think that one year has passed so you can go put your guards down. because sometime you say that it is easy, but when you get closer to them, the temptation is stronger than you think. As you know, we cannot do things on our own. so to make this more easy, always seek guidance from God.
Here are three terms that you can use to escape the temptations of addictions. First, you have to DISCIPLINE yourself. If you keep thinking about them, try to occupy yourself with other things so you wont think about them. Train your mind not to think about them. it will be hard but when you continue doing it, the next term kicks in, which is PERSEVERANCE. at this point, your body want to do something crazy to get that thing so bad. But if you continue and persevere that stage which is very hard, it will be much more easy afterward. After those, you can be witnessing to other people with what God had done to your life. when you share to others, it will challenge you in this way. WHEN YOU TELL OTHERS, IT MAKES YOU DONT WANT TO GET BACK TO IT BECAUSE IT WOULD BE BAD EXAMPLE IF WE TELL OTHERS OF HOW GOD HELPED US, AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN, THEY SEE US DOING IT, AGAIN. I've used this to help me and its working. I say things that i am weak at it out loud so I can remind myself that I should not go back to it because i just said it.
Dont be discourage if you fail. there's room for failure. when you make mistake, you can learn from it and see what you can do to improve from it. You stumble and shake it off and say, "Lord, help me I need you." You stumble again and then you shake it again and say, "Lord, help me because I cannot do this on my own." Keep doing that day by day, moment by moment, situation by situation and you will be able to be submissive to God's Will. Always allow Him to work in you and through you. You cannot change yourself and I cannot change myself. It is God who make changes, that's why we need to allow Him to work and make changes. If you fail or stumble but get up and shake the dust and continue, that is what we call submission to God's Will. but if you fall down and decided not want to get up, then it's not submission to God. Take one thing at a time, little by little and allow Him to break you and mold you to the way that is good for you but also what He wants.
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